----- Original Message ----- From: "anzacis" To: Sent: Sunday, 10 September 2000 16:00 Subject: [gpsstash] Fw: HOW THINGS CAN ESCALATE
> > Jackass continued. > > > > > > > For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just > > need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on > > someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!! > > > > Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call > > I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely > > saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I > > please speak to Robin Carter?" > > > > Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that > > anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and > > called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After > > I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on > > my desk. I decided to call it again. > > > > When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" > > and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and > > put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying > > bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd > > yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up. > > > > Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a > > real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass. > > Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, > > "Hello." > > > > I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone > > company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller > > ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly > > called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!" > > > > The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how > > if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something > > about it. > > > > Just dial 823-4863. > > > > > > [Keep reading, it gets better.] > > > > > > The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the > > parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, > > her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the > > slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull > > out. > > > > > > Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black > > Camaro comes flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and > > pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You > > can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of > > his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he > > didn't even hear me. > > > > I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there's sure a lot of > > jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the > > back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for > > another place to park. > > > > A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just > > gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a > > jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on > > speed dial.). I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black > > Camaro lying on my desk and thought I better call this guy too. He > > answered the phone and said,"Hello." I said, > > > > "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?" > > > > "Yes, it is." > > > > "Can you tell me where I can see it?" > > > > "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the > > car's parked right out front." > > > > I said, "What's your name?" > > > > "My name is Don Hansen." > > > > "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" > > > > "I'm home in the evenings." > > > > "Listen Don, can I tell you something?" > > > > "Yes," > > > > "Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down. > > > > After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a > > while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem > > I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the > > jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it > > used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a > > solution: > > > > First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, > > > > "Hello." > > > > I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up. The jackass said, > > > > "Are you still there?" > > > > I said, "Yeah." > > > > He said, "Stop calling me." > > > > I said, "No." > > > > He said, "What's your name, Pal?" > > > > I said, "Don Hansen." > > > > He said "Where do you live?" > > > > "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's > > parked out front." > > > > "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your > > prayers." > > > > "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up. > > > > Then I called Jackass #2. > > > > He answered, "Hello." > > > > I said, "Hello, Jackass!" > > > > He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." > > > > "You'll what?" > > > > "I'll kick your ass." > > > > "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right over, Jackass!" > > > > And I hung up. > > > > Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was > > at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as > > soon as he got home. > > > > Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. > > 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th > > Street to watch the whole thing. > > > > Glorious! > > > > Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of > > 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest > > experiences of my life! > > > > > > Name withheld to protect the guilty. > > > GPS Stash Hunt Page : > The GPS Stash Hunt page. > http://www.triax.com/yngwie/gps.html > > GPS Stash Hunt FAQ : > THE FAQ > http://www.triax.com/yngwie/stashfaq.txt > > > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: > gpsstash-unsubscribe@egroups.com > > > >